why i still alive

i crying about my self everynight and the pain inside me is like a lady dancing with a sharp stilettos inside my heart, its hurt so much. if you really know me, maybe you'll wondering why i stiil alive and not trying to hurting or killing my self. i dont have a single strach from knife or doing drugs. i just listen to some songs and write everything that i feel, its like transfering your pain into a paper (or a device). and everytime i feel like im done, like i dont want to do shits anymore, i listen to wilson phillips- hold on. because that song is so fucking true, sometimes people want to break you down, but its your choice to fight back or losing with breaking your self down. and i choose to fight back, because i already live in this world for 17 years and i didnt come this far just to fall. maybe i dont understand your feeling and nobody do, but its because you the only one who through your life and people through their own too, and believe me they have a different shits with a same value as you do. and face it, the world is too busy to hearing your bad past as an excuse why you didnt success. just fight back, and hold on. and believe me, your future is so worth it. :)

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